Bachelor Mayhem
by KHLegacy
Summary: Sora's final night as a Single man doesn't go Quite as expected as the young Keyblade Master discovers another thing of this world to add to his list of Kryptonite.


_**This was based on a Roleplay between me and DreamGuardianAMS so extreme special thanks to him especially since it was his idea. A Couple of Quotes come from TFS FFVII: Machinabridged and Bruva Alfbasa's If The Emperor had a Text to Speech Device.**_

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_I own nothing except the stuff I made up_

_**Bachelor Mayhem**_

Sora had turned twenty and then on Kairi's birthday he had proposed to her. He enjoyed being the one that was in the know for once. Although right now he was enjoying the stars and partying with the friends he had invited. One last night of being single it was hard to believe. So were a lot of things.

"Ahhh Sora man of the hour!" said Jack Sparrow as he came over. "I was partying with the rest of your friends and I couldn't help but notice you're without a spot of rum. And I'm here to correctify that." He said handing Sora a bottle.

"Really?" he asked glancing at the small bottle. Another was placed in his hand he looked at them and shrugged he did plan the wedding a couple of days from now. What was the worst that could happen?

**X X X **

Riku had been looking around for Sora noticing he had suddenly disappeared from the party. A Human Simba who had become a tall dark skinned man with his main now long locks of hair wearing some pirate pants sniffed at the cupcakes.

"Simba have you seen Sora?" Riku asked.

"Not since an hour ago." Simba replied. "Sorry."

"Terra what about you?" Riku asked seeing the brunette eat a couple of shrimp.

"I thought I saw Jack talking to him a few minutes ago." Terra replied pushing what was in his mouth to the side to talk.

"Which one?" Riku asked.

"Sparrow," Terra replied after swallowing his mouthful.

"Okay," Riku said Running through passing Gula, Aced, Idra,Donald,Goofy, Hiro, Baymax, Jack Skeleton finding Sparrow talking with Flynn Rider.

"Jack!" Riku shouted getting his attention.

"What?" He asked.

"Where's Sora? " Riku asked.

"Oh well, he's right over there-" Jack said turning in the direction he left Jack only to find him gone. "And….Now he's not…." His face changing to a surprised nervous frown; His eye twitching slightly as his head darted around.

"You know it's really bad if we lose the groom right?" Riku asked Flatly.

"I CAN SMELLL, THEE COOOSSSMOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSS!" Shouted a very drunk Sora; from atop the Crow's nest of the Black Pearl, everyone turning to look up at him.

"SORA!?" Riku yelped.

"Get down from there!" Donald shouted jumping up and down having noticed what was happening as Jack's eyes squinted.

"What's he doing with his Keyblade?" Jack asked the shouting getting everyone's attention as the tip of his Keyblade began to glow. Then Spells started firing off randomly, such as Firaga, Blizzaga, and even the recently learnt Ultima. "HIT THE DECK!" he shouted as they scattered like scared Roaches in the light.

They had to duck and weave as they landed in random places around the black pearl the Keybladers putting out as many fires as Sora accidentally started, while covering their own skin. Donald was hit with a fire spell and got his face blackened as he huffed.

There was an explosion near Sora as Jack Skeleton's head rolled by Riku's feet prompting him to pick it up. "Can you help me find my body?" It asked the body falling over board in the back ground as Gibbs shouted Man over board.

People were screaming and yelling. Then Sora summoned Dream Eaters that started bouncing all over deck Riku saw his Partner Dream Eater Kimori flying through towards him. Some of the Dream Eaters yelped and started jumping around the ship very confused.

Simba was getting into a fight with an Aura lion as they growled at each other. "This cannot get any worse!" Flynn cried out in frustration Ducking and Dodging Dream Eaters and Magic. Then as if to spite him, he heard a neigh. He turned to see a Pegaslick Dream Eater that decided it didn't like him and changed it's coloring to a Nightmare type. He screamed as it flew after him. As Aced and Terra fished Jack Skeleton's body out of the water.

Riku and Ven had to work to wrangle all of the Dream Eaters and dismiss them. The only ones staying were Kimori and the Meow-Wow Eata. Sora jumped down and rolled around towards them and stood up wobbilly as he slumped towards who stared at him in shock; "Sora how much have you had to drink!?" Riku half shouted as Sora stopped in front of him.

"Boop," Sora replied touching the tip of Riku's nose giggling like an idiot. There was a moment of silence. Everyone then immediately turned to Jack Sparrow looking at him like this was all, his fault.

"All I did was give, him two bottles of rum how was I supposed to know he was a Light-weight." He replied quickly.

"You could've asked." Riku replied in an annoyed tone. Suddenly a bunch of Flan Heartless appeared on deck including two that Donald and Goofy had never seen one had a Square piece of white Chocolate on it's head the other an Orchid.

"I say,_ hicurp_ noooo tooo youuu!" Sora said seeing them and firing off Ultima it hit them but they did not disappeared instead they raised their heads up and started barfing rainbows. Multi-colored drips of an unknown liquid flowing everywhere.

"Joy…." Riku muttered sarcastically.

"Uhh What's Sora doing?" Flynn asked nervously.

He suddenly noticed Sora preparing his most powerful Spell. "NO!" he shouted jumping Sora and pinning his arms behind him as Sora looked back with a dopey smile.

"Hey Ridog what's happening? _Hic_!" he slurred. Jack then whacked him with a Rum bottle much to everyone's shock."

"Sparrow what the hell!?" Roxas shouted. Baymax scanned him.

"**Sora is suffering from acute intoxication. He has no severe head damage. But I recommend turning him onto his side to avoid choking." ** A few minutes after doing so Sora's leg twitched and he vomited mana infused vomit making it glow in his sleep.

_**The Next day….**_

Sora groaned trying to hide from the sun as they docked in Port Royal.

"It's too bright I'm in pain, I want to get back in the box. The box doesn't judge it just hates, _Urp_" Sora groaned.

"You know in retrospect planning his wedding two days after the party, was probably the smartest thing he's ever done." Riku said mostly to himself as he rubbed his back.

"**Sora needs rest and I recommend a visit from a Doctor," **Baymax said.

"And to also never go near Alcohol ever again." Jack Sparrow added.

"That's something I think we can all agree on." Simba sighed.

Kairi suddenly ran up to them. "Riku!" Kairi shouted as she rushed over Riku sighed standing up. "We heard a lot of noise and saw a lot of flashing lights at the bachelorette party last night what happened?" she asked a little sternly.

Riku sighed as he explained the night's events. "And that is why your fiance can never have any kind of Alcohol ." He said flatly.

"Every second is agony!" Sora randomly shouted.

Kairi sighed, "Very, well." She replied simply. She turned to the others. "Also Jack."

"yes?" both Jacks responded.

"Sparrow." She replied.

"Yes?" he asked seeing a look that sent a chill down his spine he had flashbacks to the ones Elizabeth Swan and Angelica gave him.

"If you ever, give Sora rum and/or drink again, I will make you dismantle the Black Pearl, piece by piece! And the only captain you'll be of is a seafood eatery." She growled threateningly.

Jack stared in horror gulping as he nodded. "Noted!"

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**The End**


End file.
